’s Adam Schein wrote such a terrible article about the Cowboys that even an Eagles fan is going to tear it apart

Adam Schein wrote an article about the Cowboys that misses the mark on so many levels, it’s comical. This is basically just stupid piled on top of more stupid. The highlights:

There’s good news and bad news for the Dallas Cowboys.

The good news is, they won’t have to hear the familiar refrain this season that they’re once again underachieving and failing to live up to their incredible talent.

The bad news is, that’s because the Cowboys are the flat-out worst team in the NFC East and one of the four worst teams in the conference. It’s not even up for debate.

The bad news is that I read Schein’s crappy article in full. The good news is that I’m going to proceed making fun of it over the next 800 words.

Anyway, getting back to his first couple paragraphs above… It’s “not up for debate” that the Cowboys are one of the 4 worst teams in the conference, huh? See, here I was thinking that Lions and Eagles were 4-12 last season, the Cardinals don’t have a QB, a running game, or an OL, the Vikings have to hand it to Adrian Peterson and pray that he doesn’t get hurt, and the Buccaneers couldn’t cover me. But it’s not even “up for debate.” OK, I’ll hear you out, Schein. What’cha got up your sleeve?

Owner Jerry Jones has gone about managing his coaching staff the wrong way. Dallas has yet to make a single offseason addition that will either shore up a major hole or strengthen the roster. It’s a recipe for disaster.

Yeah, that recipe sure doesn’t work for the Packers, who never wade into the free agency pool, and yet are one of the best teams in the league every year, with a recent Super Bowl victory to their credit. That’s not to say that the Cowboys aren’t signing guys because that’s what they’re choosing to do, mind you. They can’t sign guys because they’ve mismanaged the hell out of their salary cap, but what Schein is saying is that not signing players in free agency “is a recipe for disaster.”  Which means the Packers are dumb.

There are other issues on the defense. Some rival executives tell me they wonder if cornerbacks Brandon Carr and Morris Claiborne are suited for Kiffin’s scheme. The safeties aren’t special. The front seven doesn’t stack up.

The front seven includes DeMarcus Ware, Anthony Spencer, Sean Lee, Bruce Carter, and Jay Ratliff. There’s some talent there, no?

Dallas’ offensive line is weak. Miles Austin and Dez Bryant are, in theory, a dynamic 1-2 punch at receiver, but Austin has had injury and availability issues while Bryant, who also battled injuries last year, seemingly doesn’t prioritize football and the little things it takes to win. Thanks to the poor line play and running back DeMarco Murray’s fragility, the ground game is spotty.

Some valid points there. But maybe we can start to let up on Bryant a little bit? Is he a knucklehead? Sure. No question. But… In the second half of the season last year, Bryant had 50 catches, 879 yards, and 10 TDs. That’s pretty good, right? I’m pretty sure I might allow that guy to play for my team. Call me crazy.

The New York Giants are the best team in the NFC East. General manager Jerry Reese has had a very strong offseason, signing three likely starters in pass-catching tight end Brandon Myers, versatile defensive lineman Cullen Jenkins and former Cowboys linebacker Dan Connor.

Yep, the Giants are awesome because they signed Dan Connor, who is so good that a “bottom 4 NFC team” cut him. I mean… that whole argument sounds like this.

Reese also added a fourth receiver in Louis Murphy and brought back old friend Aaron Ross at corner.


I love what Chip Kelly and the Philadelphia Eagles have done, upgrading with defensive end Connor Barwin.

Yep, loves Barwin so much that he doesn’t even know that he’s a linebacker.

If the Cowboys were in the NFC West, they’d be in fifth place, behind the conference’s two most well-rounded squads in the Seattle Seahawks and San Francisco 49ers, as well as the St. Louis Rams (love the addition of Jake Long) and Arizona Cardinals (I told you they were going to sign Drew Stanton to play for Coach of the Year Bruce Arians).

Wait, did Schein just say the Cardinals are a better team, and in the process note that they signed Drew fucking Stanton. Are you fucking shitting me?

Sean Payton is back; thus, so are the New Orleans Saints. The Atlanta Falcons are better than Dallas, obviously. So are the Green Bay Packers, Chicago Bears and — now that they have Greg Jennings — Minnesota Vikings.

Greg Jennings missed 8 games last year, and 3 the year before. 8 + 3 = 11. Dez Bryant and Miles Austin missed a combined 7 games the last two seasons and they’re injury prone according to Schein, but apparently Jennings is the guy that’s going to get the Vikings over the top with his healthy awesomeness. Oh, and in the 8 games last season that he did play, Jennings had 36 catches for 366 yards and 4 TDs. And he’ll be 30 in September. Sooooo… yeah.

So congrats, Dallas. You are lumped in with the Detroit Lions (who have work to do, as much as I loved the Reggie Bush signing), Carolina Panthers (who must significantly improve their defense, offensive line and receiving corps) and Tampa Bay Buccaneers (who aren’t quite there yet, though of course we can reconsider their status if and when they land Darrelle Revis). You are behind St. Louis. Your owner has made your coach a dead man walking.

Dallas has a boatload of issues. As Schein notes, the OL stinks and Jerry Jones should not be a GM. I’m on board there. He’s also right that Tony Romo is a huge reason the Cowboys were even in the mix last year. But holy hell, this nonsense is absolutely nothing more than a ploy to get clicks, and an insanely thoughtless one at that. So congrats, Schein. You win.


  1. OlSKool1972 says:

    As much as I hate the Cowboys I have no respect for the opinion of Adam Schein. He’s one of those guys that you see and get upset because he’s actually getting a 6 figure a year contract to talk nonsense. The Cowboys may have some problems as far as depth is concerned but they still have a good group of starters. Schein putting them in the bottom four in the confenrence is typical of a guy writing a piece just to get reaction instead of actually doing analysis.

  2. FlBoomer says:

    What a great rebuttal.

    One of the worst articles I have seen from a supposed football expert. Kudos to the Eagles fan for pointing it out.

  3. Well you’re the idiot that read an article on…. by Adam frickin Schein. Apparently he’s a comedian, I could more laughs out of a law textbook. If you think this is bad you should watch his videos…

    Also, I would tick a box that said “Notify me of replies to MY comment”, not notify me of every comment made on this article. Just my two cents

  4. Godspeed Dan says:

    Dallas does so much better when they are underdogs and disrespected. They can beat any team on any Sunday, Thursday or Monday. We’ll see what happens. Dallas will reowrk, Romo, Free and Spencer, giving $25M or so to the FA pool; where they’ll fill about 3 holes. Then the draft can be pure. A simple D, all those players coming back healthy… a good OL finally… we’ll see – keep up the good work Schein!

  5. CowboysLover says:

    Lovin’ it, Jimmy! If I had a sledgehammer for Adam Schein’s face…………….

  6. […] to update things. Normally, I link to articles I talk about, but here, I am just linking to this:’s Adam Schein wrote such a terrible article about the Cowboys that even an Eagles fan …. And then our old frenemy JimmyK goes on to do so, with some biting humor and no mercy for Schein. […]

  7. […] to update things. Normally, I link to articles I talk about, but here, I am just linking to this:’s Adam Schein wrote such a terrible article about the Cowboys that even an Eagles fan …. And then our old frenemy JimmyK goes on to do so, with some biting humor and no mercy for Schein. […]

  8. boyfromoz says:

    Note that this article is all part of front page multi-article feature on the “falling star”. Including a massive two-position drop in their power rankings and an article on them being quiet in Free Agency. So as normal, a “dallas sucks” headline is always good to drive traffic when you’ve run out of actual stories.

    Credit for calling it what it is Jimmy.

    While every season has its own story, there is nothing to suggest the Cowboys should be worse next season. They had terrible continuity on o-line (every position changing, zero starts together including pre-season) and significant injury issues. They haven’t lost any critical players and the new defensive staff has a vastly better NFL track-record than the last one.

    As the Eagles know (and Cowboys have plenty of experience of too) – the majority of marquee free agents massively underperform their new contracts, so its a pretty risky and expensive roll of the dice.

  9. Travlr says:

    I read that article this afternoon and wondered, “How the hell did it make it on / are they taking BSPN rejects now?”

    Thanks for the laugh Jimmy, You alright for an Eagles Fan.

  10. Chip's Plan says:

    […] have once again exposed Jimmy Bama as a Cowboys traitor.  He actually attacked an article that attacked the Boys.  What a degenerate. I bet he watches the Bad News Bears and cheers for them to lose.  I bet he […]

  11. Cowboy Luv says:

    Love it no hype,we gone be in last place in the Nfc East ,worst team in the nfc,we aint Americas team,we aint the dream team,Jerry Jones going broke,romo”s ah Choker,Dez is T.O.,D.Ware washed Up,Spencer Over Rated .Thanks Hatas “ITS ON”

  12. yehti says:

    TY Jimmy, this huy is a complete tool. no doubt. Yes Dallas has some problems, but i think most teams have some problems. but to say bottom 4? were they not 1 game from the NFC east title for a few years. i know thats not great but bottom 4 out of 16 cmon.

    credit to you Jimmy for sticking up for Dallas. I forgive the lack of a Spencer post about right now

  13. Mandmeisterx says:

    Pundits annually rant about how Dallas will go 8-8 and just miss the playoffs. Then, when they do just that, I have to read dozens of articles about how they underachieved again.

  14. NYG_Slater says:

    I think the criticism of Jerruh is valid about the way he’s managed the cap and his coaching staff. The rest of the criticism is pretty weak.

    In defense of dallas, look at how they are built– they have good QB, a great #1 and #2 WR, a stud pass rusher, 2 good cornerbacks, and young promising LT. Thats the way you want to build a team. Atleast jerry has that part right.

    The cap situation is a total mess and I’d imagine the coaches feel like they are being micromanaged. Coaches need to have some feeling of job security so they don’t discount the future in favor of the present in order to save their jobs. It’s still a developmental league, coaches should be making decisions under a 2-3 year time frame.

    1. Joe says:

      you left out that TE the ‘boys have, he is getting older, but he is still pretty good 🙂

  15. Mark says:

    Wait a minute now, Jimmy. You’re ranting about a “terrible article”, so what does that make this article? “Terribler”?

    1. No. “More terrible.”

      1. Travlr says:

        Trrible Just Plain trrrible.
        Signed Charles Barkley

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