Martellus Bennett goes on NFLN; rambles nonsensically

The NFL AM guys had former Giants TE Martellus Bennett on the phone today, and Marty B. was full-on Marty B. The highlights:

  • On the Giants seemingly not having interest in bringing Bennett back:

“I played a whole season there and thought I did well. A couple weeks passed by in free agency, a couple more weeks passed going into free agency, and I just felt like, ‘Well, they’re gonna try to pay the guys they can and see what’s left for me.’ It’s kind of like high school, you know, you wanna take this one girl to prom, so you keep trying to get her, but this other girl is cute but she wants to talk to you too. But you keep chasing the other one and by the time you realize you can’t get the hottest girl in school you try to get the other one but then she don’t want to go out with you either. So now you have to go to the prom alone.”

  • On what nicknames he has given new teammate Brandon Marshall:

“I got a couple of names. Fire Marshall. I like Apollo, the god of the sun. The griffin, because I like mythical animals, and the griffin is pretty tough. It’s one of the greatest animals in the world. I mean, I don’t know if anyone has ever seen it, or if it ever existed, but it is one of the greatest animals. I wish I could have a pet griffin.”

  • On whether or not he’s the “Black Unicorn”:

“Some would say I am. Depends on what side of the world you’re on.”

  • On Twitter imposters:

“Most of the impostors are┬áCaucasian┬ámales. I just believe that black is beautiful. I’m one of those guys. I like unicorns, but mostly unicorns are white, so I just wanted to make a black unicorn. And actually I heard the pope say that he’s trying to call himself the black unicorn, but I think he should just call himself the pope.”

  • On his neck tattoos, and how long they took to get done:

“I fell asleep, so I don’t really remember. You know you dream sometimes, it’s like when you go to sleep in the afternoon and you feel like you’ve been asleep for 6 or 7 hours but rarely it’s only been like 25 minutes. It’s like one of those things when you get tattoos so I really don’t know how long it was.”

  • When the studio guys were ending the conversation:

“Alright man, thank you guys. God bless you in America.”

12 Comments

  1. Juz Saying says:

    tHIS BUM JINX EVERY TEAM HE GOES TOO.

  2. Man, I miss him being in Dallas.

  3. Maybe he is vying for a spot on NFLN as a commentator after he retires…this interview makes me believe that he is as capable of analyzing football as Sapp or Jamie Dukes…

  4. brisulph says:

    Gonna miss that guy in NY, but not at the price he went for.

  5. SteveH says:

    The Marty B experience, everyone. Not for the faint of heart.

  6. rage114 says:

    A chimera would kick a griffon’s arse.

    1. Liger. It’s like a lion and a tiger mixed… bred for its skills in magic.

      1. Allen says:

        Fun fact. Ligers are real. Sorry if you already knew, but I feel like a ton of people just assume they’re made-up. Not bred for skills in magic in the real world though.
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liger

        1. Brett says:

          He was quoting Napoleon Dynamite.

      2. skinsaholic says:

        Its pretty much my favorite animal

  7. nyg_slater says:

    Well, I’d imagine he’s currently on day 3 of his bender, so ya, this is about right.

  8. TheRealMcCoy says:

    Had to be high. No other explanation.

    Besides aliens.

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