Fred Davis’ inspiring courtroom tale of pimps, pineapple juice, genitals, and flatulence

Just go.

25 Comments

  1. Anaizi says:

    just stumbled upon your blog and wanted to say that i have really enjoyed reading your blog posts. any way i’ll be subscribing to your feed and i hope you post again soonhttp://www.videodamonica.com

  2. John says:

    Tolbert @ KC on monday night
    or
    Fred Davis @ BUF

    Non-PPR league.

    Or I can plug Fred Davis in at TE and sit Aaron Hernandez and play Tolbert at flex.

    And in my other league I have Vernon or Fred Davis at TE. Who would you play? PPR league.

  3. Mike G. says:

    Jimmy,

    Been a reader of yours since you started this up from BGN. The titles of your articles alone have me laughing hysterically. I just hope the PI of my research lab (a huge Bills fan, poor guy) doesn’t see them over my shoulder. You, Lawlor, and the rest of the SuperBestFriends keep my Birds fix going all offseason. Keep it up and it’s great to see you get some well deserved opportunities!

    – Mike G.

    1. Thanks bud. Much appreciated.

  4. Tracer Bullet says:

    I imagine the judge is sitting there thinking, “Three years busting my ass in law school, all that time scrambling to build a viable practice, then kissing all those asses to raise money for this seat on the bench and THIS is the bullshit I have to deal with. I should have become a stripper.”

  5. Southern Philly says:

    I can’t wait for the movie version.

  6. Trueblue63 says:

    I don’t answer questions … Priceless

    1. I mean… It’s almost like a 3000 word fake Onion story.

      1. RogerPodacter says:

        LOL that was truly amazing.

  7. Alex says:

    “It’s just all made up and flagellant . . .”

    Fred, I don’t think that word means what you think it means.

    1. Dez Bryant's Probation Officer says:

      Oddly, I knew exactly what he meant by that, though.

    2. RedskinsFan says:

      I believe he means hot air and has a foul stench to it.

      1. Dez Bryant's Probation Officer says:

        It’s a hybrid of fraudulence and flatulance. With just a hint of flagellation.

    3. NYG_slater says:

      its actually a real word.
      Flagellant:
      1. One who whips, especially one who scourges oneself for religious discipline or public penance.
      2. One who seeks sexual gratification in beating or being beaten by another person.

      ….Fred clearly knew this, deep guy.

  8. Macc says:

    Nothing good happens in the clubs.

  9. Josh says:

    I think this part is the best:

    Davis: “As it shows, you also have your hand on his genitals. I mean why would you take a picture like that?”

    Chaka: “I do not. Let’s look closely at the exhibit right here, Judge. Where is my hand placed in this exhibit?”

    Judge: “I do not answer questions. . . . The witness does.”

    Chaka: “Can you tell me where my hand is actually at in this photo?”

    Davis: “It looks like it’s in the genitals to me. I mean your hands are on his genitals. Your hand is on his—”

    Chaka: “Objection.”

    1. skinsaholic says:

      A well timed objection….hahahahaha

  10. Dez Bryant's Probation Officer says:

    He will be on food stamps within 10 years.
    Sad.

    1. NYG_slater says:

      what do you mean sad? this stuff is hilarious! gimme more, this article and that pimp walk in the video had my tearing up.

      1. Dez Bryant's Probation Officer says:

        But isn’t it pathetic that this clubs-n-whores scene is what some young people aspire to?

        1. Free Plax says:

          Seems to me that Fred was and is doing the right thing in trying to keep this very bad influence away from him.

  11. And apparently, the Players’ Ball really does exist:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=endscreen&NR=1&v=bmhjE_sdOUY

    6:00 mark is amazing.

    1. Alex says:

      Silky Johnson approves of this strut.

      1. skinsaholic says:

        If you all will excuse me, I gotta go put some more water in Buck Nasty’s momma’s dish

    2. Free Plax says:

      You never saw the HBO documentry Pimps up Hoes down. Mr White Folks was one of my favorites

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