My wife and I had a baby girl last night. I know… Congrats and thank you’s all around. We left for the hospital at around 4:30am so that my wife could be induced yesterday morning. She didn’t give birth until 8:18pm, almost 16 hours later (and it wound up being a C section anyway). Labor is very boring. Repeat… VERY boring. Well, boring for me, that is. For the woman, it’s… you know… mostly discomfort, with intermittent periods of pain and general awfulness. Some things I did while my wife was in labor:
- I wrote about football.
- I tried perfecting my stand-up comedy routine with my poor wife as the sole audience.
- If the nurse said she was going to do something that I thought I could handle, I’d steal that job from her. For example, at one point she said she was going to get ice chips from the snack area of the hospital. I would immediately think, “Wait… ice chips? I can handle that!” And I’d snatch the cup out of the nurse’s hand and run down the hall as if there was some sort of emergency. If I didn’t get the ice chips and get back to the room in less than minute, the hospital would explode.
- At one point I ran suicides in our hospital room, a la Jim Carrey in The Cable Guy.
- I dressed up like an ER surgeon.
- I allowed my ridiculous superstitions and OCD to run wild. I’ll explain. As my regular readers know, while I write about all 4 NFCE teams, I’m an enormous Eagles fan. See that green shirt in the comedy routine picture I posted above? That’s no coincidence. If I go to WalMart and don’t like how Eagles paraphernalia is arranged among the other teams, I’ll rearrange. I do a morning “Linky” post every morning for this site, in which I’ll link to news about the 4 NFCE teams and then add my own commentary. I’ll have news for one team on the front page, and you have to click “more” for the other 3. Not sure if anyone really even notices, but I rotate each team every day to be fair. Yesterday would have been the Giants’ turn. But could I have the Giants be on the front page the day my first child was going to be born? Hell no. I put the Eagles on the front page yesterday.
When they brought me in for the C section, you’re basically behind a curtain, sitting by your wife’s head. You can’t actually see the operation (nor would you want to do), and there’s so much going on that you barely even notice the doctors performing it. And so, when they pulled the baby out and I could hear her “whaaaaaaah!” for the first time, such a surreal and awesome moment, really just about the most natural high you can experience, I looked up and realized that the first person to ever hold my newborn baby was…
A Giants fan.