Your NFL bowl matchups if the dopes that ran the NCAA ran the NFL

The BCS relies on a combination of polls and computer selection methods to determine relative team rankings, and to narrow the field to two teams to play in the BCS National Championship Game.  Therefore, for the purposes of getting a similar ranking system, we’ll use Football Outsiders’ DVOA rankings as our computer system, and naturally, ESPN’s “Power Rankings” as our official writers poll. It’s a highly scientific, bulletproof system.  Obviously.

The Cowboys would be the Notre Dame of the NFL.

The Notre Dame Bowl

Lions (11th computers, 8th writers) vs. Cowboys (14th computers, 13th writers)

The Cowboys slogged to a 8-8 finish and downright stunk to close the season, but hey, they have a lot of fans, so they’re in a bowl game.  Apologies to the Bengals.  Get some more fans, generate some more money, and you’ll get a bowl game next year, Cincy.

The Boise Bowl

49ers (6th computers, 3rd writers) vs. Falcons (8th computers, 7th writers)

Sorry, Niners.  The NFC West stinks, so you don’t get an automatic BCS bid.  Good job banging out those 13 wins though.  Keep building your program year after year, and maybe you’ll have a legitimate chance to compete for the ultimate championship sometime around 2027.

The Undeserving Bowl

Eagles (10th computers, 15th writers) vs Jets (9th computers, 19th writers)

These teams seem to either be making noise in the playoffs, or at least in them every year, plus they’re big markets, which means big money, so… you know… In.  If you could be a lamb and ignore their insanely disappointing, underachieving seasons, that’d be great, thanks.  Apologies once again to the Bengals.

The Great BCS Bowl

AFCE Champ Patriots (4th computers, 4th writers) vs “At large” Steelers (2nd computers, 6th writers)

Ohhhhhh!  So close to that BCS title game without actually winning your division, Pittsburgh!  The computers loved you, but the writers have you way down at 6th.  Sorry about that.  This would actually be a great game… although… It’s a matchup we have a great chance of seeing in the 2nd round anyway.  But whatever.

The 8-8 Broncos vs the 9-7 Giants! HELL YEAH!!!!!!

The Horrible BCS Bowl

AFCW Champ Broncos (24th computers, 14th writers) vs. NFCE Champ Giants (12th computers, 9th writers)

There always has to be that one horrible BCS game, right? Well, here it is. The Tebows vs. the “bEast” champs.

The Uncompetitive BCS Bowl

AFCN Champ Ravens (7th computers, 5th writers) vs. AFCS Champ Texans (5th computers, 10th writers)

Just like there always seems to be a boring ass BCS game nobody would care about (above), there always seems to be one of these total mismatch games.  Enjoy watching the Ravens beat the tar out of Houston and turning the channel to the Big Bang Theory midway through the 2nd quarter.

The BCS Championship Game

NFCN Champ Packers (1st computers, 1st writers) vs. NFCS Champ Saints (3rd computers, 2nd writers)

In the last 5 years, only four out of ten #1 seeds have made it to the Super Bowl.  But hey, there’s no way the Packers can lose in the playoffs, right?  I mean, it wouldn’t be fun to actually watch them try to get past the first few rounds.  And who wants to see Drew Brees and the gang play a few games in the playoffs?  Let’s just skip all that competition.  OK, so this game would actually be pretty awesome.  But still!

Wouldn’t this setup be WAY BETTER than the playoffs?!?!?


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  5. Adamnb87 says:

    Looks like the fellas over at the Shutdown Corner really took a liking to your story…or maybe just coincidence? At work so can’t really pull up both and do an in-depth comparison, haha.;_ylt=At_aSbuWn9iLHeFEbJs5Nxs5nYcB?urn=nfl-wp15336

    1. Dday says:

      was gonna show this to jimmy, seems like the MJD Guy just straight up did a rip off of jimmy’s work

  6. pricebe says:

    Why in the world would you switch over to an awful show like the Big Bang Theory. Talk about a show that is a one note joke. Though I guess anything better than having to watch Tebow play…

    1. BryanH says:

      Holy shit, I thought I was the only person on the planet that doesn’t like that show

      1. packimop says:

        that show blows

        1. David K says:

          MAYBE the worst show in history. I finally met someone who liked it. She was a chick. And a huge nerd. And I hated her.

          Other than that, I can;t imagine anyone actually liking that show. It truly is awful and embarrassingly unfunny.

          1. brisulph says:

            I’m with you on that… I can stomach it when it is on (and that is way mroe than I want it to be, thanks to my wife and my in-laws just adoring the show), but since they run marathons of it so much I end up seeing way more of it than I want to. I will say though, the Star Trek fan in me enjoys watching Wil Wheaton acting like a total dick whenever he is in an episode.

  7. Gary says:

    This would be SWEEEET! Just think how much more money the NFL could make! Probably not much, but, some, maybe.

  8. theguyotc says:

    I can’t help but sense some sarcasm in this post.

  9. Jay Walker (GIB) says:

    I have always thought they could keep the “Bowl names” but turn it into a playoff round. Like 8 first round games would be lesser bowl game, with the actual championship being with the 4th round of bowl games for those teams.

  10. Free Plax says:

    LOL, College football is such a joke, that’s why I don’t really watch it. For God’s sake man, Women’s volley ball has a playoffs why can’t college football?

    1. Imp says:

      $$$. There is your answer.

      1. Free Plax says:

        Seems to me that they would make more $$$ on a college football playoff system, because the games would actually mean something so more fans would toon into to watch, instead of just watching the BCS bowl game to see who the National Champs are.

        1. RogerPodacter says:

          they could structure it a little better so they don’t have so many games at the same time, too. that would mean more people to watch each game since everyone isnt spread out watching so many concurrent games.

  11. brisulph says:

    The way they select games is pretty pathetic… never mind that the slogan “every game counts” needs to be changed to “every game counts… except for Alabama apparently”.

    1. The “every game counts” thing is the most ridiculous nonsense in sports. If you start your season… say… 6-2… You have zero chance of winning the national championship. None. So sure, I guess your final 4 or 5 games might have marginal meaning, but we exactly are you competing for at that point? The San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl?

      1. brisulph says:

        I think the point is “you have to keep winning to have a shot”… which was disproven immensely this year. I hope Alabama goes out and crushes LSU, just to show how the current system is so immensely flawed. Make it a top 8 or 16 play-off, play at the sites of the biggest bowls, and keep the lesser bowls for the non-play-off teams to still play in and generate all of that cash the NCAA wants.

  12. Immynimmy says:

    That actually would be pretty damn cool. I’ve been dying to see a rematch of the Saints and Packers; I’m really hoping that that will be the matchup in the NFC championship game.

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