I just happened to catch this predictions piece this morning by Football Outsider’s Mike Tanier that I thought was funny:
Andy Reid’s Traveling Cautionary Tale Tent Revival has arrived in town, and we are celebrating with a trivia quiz! Match the following Eagles Dream Teamers — a.) Nnamdi Asomugha, b.) Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, c.) Steve Smith (sic), d.) Ronnie Brown, e.) Vince Young, f.) Jason Babin — with their unique accomplishments this season:
1.) I chase receivers with the enthusiasm of a teenager walking to the principal’s office after a food fight.
2.) My quarterback rating of 0.0 is lower than the punter’s, and I may be starting on Sunday!
3.) I line up offsides when not inexplicably covering Cardinals receivers not named Larry Fitzgerald.
4.) I am among the league leaders with nine penalties this season.
5.) I crumple untouched after catches in the open field as if the yellow television first-down line is real and made of plutonium.
6.) I throw the ball straight into the air while being tackled at the goal line.
Speaking of steve smit, I found this little gem at Philly Barstool Sports making fun of steve smit’s penchant for “stopping short.” Really, there are literally thousands of jokes that you could add.
Anyway, since my picks have been so ridiculously God awful all season, there’s really no point in me wasting your time anymore. So I’m making a call to the bullpen. My dog Charlie turned 2 this week, and his only birthday request was that he would get to make my picks for me this week. Done:
Charlie has zero respect for the Redskins.
On a side note, I’m going to be on Eagles Live today at about 12:30 to discuss Eli, the rise of the Cowboys, and whether or not the Skins can win another game this year. You only need to go to philadelphiaeagles.com and it’ll automatically route you to the show. I’m 34 years old. 15 years ago, back when I was in college, I was crazy. I went to a smallish college (less than 10K enrollment), and people would hear second hand stories of various things I had done. I think that people that had heard some of those stories perceived me as a meathead of sorts. Then they’d actually meet me, they’d realize I was just some harmless skinny 6’3, 170 lb. guy that couldn’t/wouldn’t hurt a fly, and they’d be like (in a disappointed tone), “Oh, you’re Kempski?” I think sometimes I write a little bit like a meathead on here, if that makes any sense. So tune in to the show to hear my disappointing, nasally voice at 12:30.