Giants offseason timeline of awfulness

Giants fans have had a rough offseason.  It kinda reminds me of the Eagles’ 2009 season, which was replete with injuries and front office gaffes.  I think it’s safe to say that fans of the other three NFC East teams don’t want to see players go down to injury, and we certainly feel your pain.  If you have a sense of humor about your football team, Giants fans, please read on.  If not, you may as well just sit this one out:

June 16 – Osi Umenyiora says Jerry Reese broke a promise to re-do his contract.  The numbers, however, say that Umenyiora is far from a Top 5 DE, at least during the time frame of the of the $41 million deal he signed on Christmas Eve in 2005.  For a fan, there’s nothing more infuriating than watching a greedy player clearly in the wrong refuse to take the field because he’s unhappy with his deal.  Terrell Owens and Drew Rosenhaus essentially ruined the Eagles’ 2005 season by acting like turds, and Owens would also go on to create problems in the Cowboys’ locker room years later.  Albert Haynesworth was a major distraction last year for the Skins.  This year, the NFC East turd is Osi.

July 27 – Barry Cofield signs with Redskins.  Some Giants justified the loss of Cofield by saying he got “elite DT money” when he’s “only” a good DT.  Any way you slice it, he produced, and now he’s a Redskin.

July 28 – Giants release Shaun O’Hara, Rich Seubert, Madison Hedgecock, Tiki Barber and Shawn Andrews.  Nobody cares about Tiki Barber, so we’ll glaze over him, and Shawn Andrews was really just sort of a one-year rental, as he had a contract that made it unrealistic for him to stick with the Giants for more than one year.  But by cutting O’Hara, Seubert, and Hedgecock, the Giants basically acknowledged (rightfully) that this OL, which formerly enjoyed the benefits of continuity and stability for so many years, was over.  Think back to 2008, the year after the Giants won the Super Bowl.  For much of that season, they were the alpha dog of the NFL, and looked like a juggernaut.  They’d get a lead, and then just pound you into submission with the run game and play action.  O’Hara was playing well, as was Seubert, and Hedgecock was an absolute sledgehammer that linebackers wanted no part of in the 4th quarter.  The last two years, the Giants lost their ability to step on opponents’ throats.  The Giants probably did the right thing by cutting these three players, but to the fans, it should come as a reminder that the days of holding leads with bruising drives in the second half are over, at least with a few of the key guys that did it for so many years.

Aug 4 – Bruce Johnson ruptures Achilles tendon.  At the time, Giants fans likely thought, “Oh, that sucks,” and then promptly turned their attention back to the rerun of Family Guy on TBS.

Aug 5 – Kevin Boss signs with the Raiders.  Apparently, Kevin Boss was on a plane back to NY to sign a deal.  While he was in the air, the Raiders made an incredibly stupid offer of 4 years, $16 million, with $8 in guarantees… to an average starting TE.  Boss took it.  And how can you blame him, really?  However, because the Giants tried to slow play Boss for so long into a more team friendly contract, when he signed with the Raiders, the Giants found the pool of available free agent TEs bone dry.  While Boss wasn’t anything special, he was at least a competent starting TE, and reality began to set in that Travis Beckum was going to now be the guy.

Prince Amukamara practices with the Giants... once.

Aug 5 – Giants sign rookie holdout Prince Amukamara.  After missing the first 8 days of training camp, extremely valuable time for a rookie particularly in a shortened offseason brought on by the lockout, Amukamara became the last rookie to sign his deal.

Aug 7 – Prince Amukamara breaks foot.  In his second practice as a pro, Amukamara suffers an injury that will keep him out for half the season.

July 27 – Aug 8 – The Eagles sign everybody. Giants fans watch as their primary rival and the team that has been most directly responsible for the end of their seasons the previous three years, the Philadelphia Eagles, sign (or trade for) the following players due to their healthy salary cap: Nnamdi Asomugha, Cullen Jenkins, Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie, Jason Babin, Vince Young, Ronnie Brown, Ryan Harris, Evan Mathis, Anthony Hargrove, Jarrad Page, Derek Landri, Johnnie Lee Higgins, and Donald Lee.  Meanwhile,they watch as the Giants sign the following players: David Baas, Stacy Andrews, Gabe Watson, and Steve Weatherford.

Aug 8 – Reports surface that Steve Smith is scheduled to meet with the Giants.  Fans anticipate enjoying a sigh or relief, hoping to keep their QB’s favorite receiver and chain mover extraordinaire.

Aug 10 – Steve Smith signs with Eagles.  D’oh!  Smith instead shocks everybody and signs elsewhere… with the Eagles.  Upon hearing the news, I call my father-in-law (a huge Giants fan) and we have roughly the following exchange:

Ring ring…

Bob – Heeeey Jimmy.
Jimmy – Hey Bob.  Bob… You know me. And you know that there’s nothing I hate more than to be the bearer of bad news.
Bob – Oh no. What’s wrong?
Jimmy – Bob… The Giants lost another one.
Bob – Oh no. Smith?
Jimmy – I’m sorry, Bob.
Bob – Oh no.
Jimmy – Yeah, but that’s not even the half of it.
Bob – What… Where’d he go?
Jimmy – You know where he went.

Giants fans promptly take to Steve Smith’s facebook page wishing him the best in Philly.  Also, well thought out, reasonable conspiracy theories arise.

Aug 19 – Osi Umenyiora undergoes arthroscopic surgery.  No comment.  Out 3-4 weeks.

Aug 22 – Terrell Thomas tears ACL, put on IR. Someone commented that the loss of Terrell Thomas was worse than Steve Smith and Kevin Boss combined.  I agree.  As new BtB writer Matt Chandik wrote yesterday, if you don’t have corners in the NFC East, you’re in deep doo doo.  Naturally, post injury, you begin to comb the available free agency options.  Kelvin Hayden, maybe?  Randall Gay?  Oof.  Not a lot there.  Shit, and we already lost Prince for half the season and Bruce Johnson to an ACL.  There was a guy in camp that was doing pretty well, though.  What was his name?  Brian Weatherspoon, I think.  Maybe he’ll turn out to be good.

Aug 22 – Brian Weatherspoon tears ACL, released.  Nevermind.

Aug 22 – Marvin Austin tears pectoral, out for season.  Seriously?

Sorry guys.

16 Comments

  1. mike says:

    haha august 22nd is my new favorite day.

    1. brisulph says:

      Nothing more hilarious than two guys careers being changed forever… SO HILARIOUS!

  2. Ca Lunker says:

    Boy it would suck to be a Giant fan. You expect injuries, holdouts, and free agent losses in any season. But with the players strike and lockout, it compressed the time line to make it feel like an avalanche was hitting the Giants.

  3. giants fan says:

    that really wasn’t so bad, except for the picture of steve smith wearing eagles gear.

  4. 10,000 Marbles says:

    Losing bodies in the preseason is a drag, sure.
    But the only injury that should matter to a contending team is when you lose your quarterback. That will end a season quickly.
    The other injuries just mean someone else has to play the position, and you move on.
    Especially in training camp.

    1. TheDeepBall says:

      I don’t know man, it’s pretty hard to lose 4 guys from the same position and expect to remain solid in that area.

  5. L.A. Mass says:

    Just further proof that Eli sold his soul to Satan in order to get that one Super Bowl victory.

  6. Stephen says:

    Who do the Giants even have left on the roster to play CB? I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing a lot of 3 safety sets from them this year.

  7. Keep Jim Thorpe in PA!! says:

    those poor Vagiants … always getting screwed!

  8. CarverM says:

    I hate to see any team get hit with injuries. I’d much rather the Giants, Eagles, and Cowboys underperform spectacularly while at full strength. You just hate to see injuries like this, because you know that it could always happen to your team, too.

  9. BigBlueIntervention says:

    Hey Jimmy, can the next post be full of smileys and happiness please?

  10. Immynimmy says:

    Ugh, that 2009 offseason was the worst, but I think the Giants beat it by a mile this year.

  11. brisulph says:

    Coffin the in nail another just.

    Losing Cofield hurts now, thanks to Austin going (meaning Rocky Bbernard is still going to be hogging the buffet line in Giants land, thus taking up too much room on the bench, weakening what are already admittedly weak leg ligaments and joints).

    Boss hurts simply for the blocking, though he did make some catches a few years ago (last year not so much). As an add-on, he is already hurt in Oakland, so no doubt his season is going to be limited itself.

    Smith is not going to be a huge hurt on the field, thanks to his PUP designation. The hurt there is the seeming traitorous turn (I personally see nothing wrong with it, he got offered some cake, he was a UFA, so he went and ate cake in Philly) against the team and fans. The only real problem I have with it is how mean you are to your father-in-law… got to treat that guy nicer, Jimothy.

    Osi is a f***tard, not been big on him for the last couple years (yeah yeah yeah 11.5 sacks, 92.467 billion FF, but how many rushing yards given up?). I suspect he plays out the year and gets traded next off-season to some stupid as dirt team.

    Cutting the o-line and Hedgecock… had to be done, sensible choice. Of course, when they still had them their line was too old, but now that they are gone, they have no one to block with. Which is it, sports world narrative makers!?

    Eagles sign everybody (nothing Giants can do about that, especially since their salary cap situation blew from trying to make a push the last couple years before the CBA expired). Bad signings in retrospect, to put it lightly.

    Bruce Johnson going down is crappy, I like his effort he puts forth. Not much else to say on that, ecept who the hell watches Family guy on American TV? They neuter the hell out of the jokes. Just terrible what your censors do down there.

    Prince holding out and then wrecking his foot… I guess the Eagle fans are right, since he immediately sucked once the Giants drafted him. I mean, he did hold out and f*** up his foot right away, sounds pretty sucky to me.

    The game from hell, everyone gets injured it seems. Well, what else can you say but “every s*** sundae needs a s*** cherry on top”.

    Rant complete.

  12. TheDeepBall says:

    OK, I hate injuries as much as the next guy, but I actually laughed at some of this.

    Aug. 4 – “oh, that sucks” and Aug 22 – “Nevermind.” Were pure gold. Anyways, yeah I think the Giants are in for a rough season. Skins will beat them week 1, they’ll have a 2010-cowboys-like season from then on.

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