Disclaimer: I’m drunk as hell as I type this. Apologies in advance for shitty writing and/or spelling/grammatical errors.

It’s actually only 9:56pm (Vegas time) as I begin to type this, but it was an awesome trip to Vegas for me and the wife. It’s over – We have a 6:45am flight tomorrow morning. We considered staying up all night, and probably would have if we were 24, but we’re 34, so it’s not happening.  So here I am, drunkenly banging away at the keyboard before I pack up my shit and go to bed.

Normally, I’d try to make any personal story flow from one anecdote to the next, but that’s not really possible in my current state, as I’m roughly 9 Jack-and-Monsters deep about now. (My drink of choice is Jack and Red Bull, but at the Hard Rock they have Monster instead of Red Bull. If I had a dime for every time I asked for a Jack and Red Bull and got a weird look from the bartender… uh… OK… I don’t really have a clever joke to finish that sentence, but they’re just not used to it). So let’s just do one anecdote and call it a night (the rest to follow tomorrow, I think, maybe):

– I’m no expert on the NBA, And have only seen bits and pieces of the NBA playoffs. I watched all 5 Sixers-Heat playoff games, and was thoroughly unimpressed with the Heat. Every game was tight, and in stretches the freaking Sixers dominated. Obviously, the Heat won 4-1 and played better in subsequent series, but that was my hint that this Heat team was NOT championship caliber. I couldn’t wait to bet the Mavs tonight – Couldn’t effing wait. Went to the Hilton to place my NFL bets (I’ll share later), and while there, I found that the money line was +240 for the Mavs. Seriously? Two-effing-forty? WOW! So I bet $100, and if the Mavs win, I win $240? Who the hell was placing bets so large on the Heat to have such a ridiculous money line? Should I reconsider? Why is the line so askew?

Since we weren’t going to watch the game at the Hilton, I waited until we reached our final destination of the night (The Hard Rock) to place my bet. To my dismay, I found that the money line there was “only” +200. Ugh. No matter – still loved that line. I bet it.

If you’ve never watched a game that you’ve bet on in a sports book in Vegas, I highly, HIGHLY recommend it. Well, I’d only recommend it if you win. I’d guess that approximately 60% of the crowd at the Hard Rock was Pro-Heat. WHY?!?!? Seriously, how in the hell (unless you’re actually a Miami fan) could you root for this group of clowns (apologies to D Wade)? The highlight of the night was a steal by DeShawn Stevenson in the Heat backcourt and subsequent 3-pointer. I think that was sometime in the 3rd period, but I really don’t remember. All I know is that all the Mavs betters went nuts, myself included.

Anyway, there’s really nothing better than after the fact, after you’ve predicted an underdog correctly, and you get to bask in that glory by chatting with other people from around the country that bet the same way as you. People from Denver, Hoboken, Arizona, Texas, Minnesota, etc. – “Really? The money line was +200? Idoits.” That’s great stuff. And you know what’s better? When your wife says “We should bet on sports more often.”


  1. D3Keith says:

    Re: Betting in Vegas, hell yes. I thought of a few “sports are good, but sports with money on the line” analogies, but I’d rather not post them.

    My dream is to bet the entire first weekend of the NCAA tournament. (not that, I, as someone who writes about NCAA stuff, would ever actually bet on college competition. The horror!)

    I really don’t bet all that much and I barely understand odds and payouts, but betting, legally, in a sports book and watching the game makes it hella exciting.

  2. Nick Castillo says:

    Jack and Red bull gets you super plastered, caffeine masking the alcohol effects, REAALY bad for you, but shit, so fkin good. good job betting on the mavs.

  3. Chefy Mike says:

    Warning DO NOT DRINK RED BULL AND JACK, nor play “Jimmy” in pool when he is drinking red bull and jack. I do not write often actually ever, but this story brings me out of my writing shell. I have seen “Jimmy” on a few occasions on red bull and jack it is not a pretty site actually may be down right horrific (I have seen him try to chew a light off a bar one time)! As for the $100 bet the line dropped to Dallas +180 before tip, Vegas was sucking people in to betting the heat everyone hated them but put there money on them!

    1. Mikey! How dare you. My days of you watching me get shitty on Jack and Red Bull provided you with countless hours of entertainment.

  4. bdawk4ever says:

    This is brilliant. But Jack and Red Bull? Damn. Gotta try that sometime.

  5. Tracer Bullet says:

    . . . You’re still bitter they discontinued Zima, aren’t you? Well, if you aren’t bothered about drinking like a 19-year-old sorority girl, then I won’t let it bother me.

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